poor student

I don't want to be your girlfriend, I don't want to be anyone's girlfriend. I'm too happy and too fucked up for that.

If You've Got The Money

Tuesdays by graciousrebellious featuring Steven Alan

Rats! by graciousrebellious featuring Diane von Furstenberg dresses

Cross Bones Style

The Future's So Bright
Originally uploaded by Andy J Miller

This year I resolve to rid myself of toxic people, and habits.
I resolve to delete phone numbers I've been clinging to for far too long.
I resolve to be more truthful, to stop lying to make myself seem more interesting, to realise that I am fascinating in my own right.
I resolve to drink less and dance more.
I resolve to keep my big mouth shut.
I resolve to treasure the relationships I have, and not the ones I pine for.
I resolve to make the most of every opportunity.
I resolve to stop taking, and to give more.
I resolve to sign up to be an organ donor, and to stop fretting about leaving a pretty corpse.
I resolve to be more consistent in my emotions, my whims, my wants.
I resolve to finally get my drivers permit, maybe.
I resolve to let feelings to move fast, and the physical to go slow.
I resolve to be less in my own head, and be to be more involved in the world outside of me.
I resolve to eat less dairy, less fried, less microwavable.
I resolve to actually use the running shoes I bought 4 months ago.
I resolve to stop being so body shy, and to go the beach with fear in my belly.
I resolve to be simple, to focus on what is good and here, and not what could be wrong and isn't.
I resolve it all.

Cry Wolf

He was always in his room writing those things, never with people. I used to tell him, what good is all of that love doing on paper? I said, let love write on you for a little. But he was so stubborn. Or perhaps he was only timid.

Pull Your Little Arrows Out

I've been spending a lot of time trying to wish things into existence lately. The relationships I want, the intimacy, the money, the job, the dreams. I spend alot of time envisaging these little fantasies, fictional conversations and scenarios in my head. Even in these little reveries I still manage to fuck it up from time to time. Honestly, who, when they can play out any internal projection they want, chooses to imagine their own failure? FML yo'.

History keeps repeating itself, I keep falling, no, plummeting into old habits and making carbon copies of my mistakes, over and over again. If I haven't learnt by now, I don't know if I ever will.

Casual dating is for chumps. I am a chump.
Sleeping all day is for jerks. I am a jerk.
Spending money that isn't yours is irresponsible. I am irresponsible.
Accidently leaving you freezer door open when you go on a trip is plain idiotic. I am an idiot. Twice over.

In other news, I quit uni. I quit big time.
Hopefully next year I'll find something I can stick to, something I can stand.

Also I think I may have developed a smoker's cough. Not that I smoke. Is that possible? I think I need some friends that care about the state of my lungs.

I can't get to sleep, there is a Koala outside my window, and it won't stop fucking grunting. I know it's mating season, but sorry Mr Koala, you're grunting up the wrong tree, I simply don't swing that way.

I'm all over the place, all over the shop. My apologies, whoever you are.

-g



p.s incase I forget, happy holidays a little present for you.

two headed girl

My brain stretches out towards you, reaches for you, wraps itself around your bony edges and contours, your flat ass and freckley arms. Can you take this seriously? Will you ever want to team up and have catastrophic fights and easy laughter, flushed excitement and lazy afternoons lying on your living room floor? We can go to bed, fiercely serious or ridiculously silly, with our bodies so obviously ill-suited for eachother.
OR - we can stay friends, keep teaching eachother what it means to be in completely different places all the time, learning to laugh at ourselves more and more, swaping new favourite bands, knowing exactly what the other is thinking and never spilling a word. You're so kind sometimes, and it always surprises me because, I mostly remember the times you've broken my heart or lied for no reason, you rude bastard. Made me cry more times than I care to remember.
But still I love you, not always in same way as before. I know you do love me, I heard you whisper it one night when you thought I'd fallen asleep before you, but the truth is, whenever I sleep over I can't fall asleep before I've heard your soft snores murmuring in my ear.
Plus, you're beautiful, or handsome, I should say. Do people tell you that? Your girlfriends, for example? The way you move is AMAZING. And the lines of your body too. You should get that tattoo, I wouldn't be able to stop myself then. Are you blushing yet?
I love you!
Jerk.
- grace

Nothing and Nowhere is Golden

The thing I like the most about being content, is they way the sun feels. How the little rays make you want to smile like a Cheshire cat, and how the sunlight becomes hopefulness incarnated into a seemingly solid thing. It just makes your head buzz better than any drug, you know? When things feel all honey glazed and carbonated, and you’re just smiling because of what’s to come. But then there is that little tickle of worry at the back of your mind. Just in case a thread comes loose and everything falls to the ground. But you brush it away, just for now, just so you can enjoy the moments, even if they remain brief ideas, so as to enjoy your slow moments of contentedness.



Everything is so lovely here. I wish you were here to share it.